Rationing the Spirit

He does not ration his gift of the Spirit.  John 3:34b


This verse from today's Gospel reading reminded me of Mary's message to St. Catherine Labouré during the second apparition at Rue de Bac, Paris in 1830.  I've blogged about this same theme a couple months ago, but obviously we can't hear it enough because God keeps telling us over and over and over again.  


God does not ration the gift of the Spirit...I do.  
I choose to not pray for God's graces, blessings, or help from the Holy Spirit.  I think that I can go it alone or that I'll figure out how to do it best.  Mary told St. Catherine that there are many graces that God wants to bestow on the world and yet people do not ask for them.  It's a simple message: pray about everything and ask for God's blessings and graces to guide you.  


Say for instance, you're two year old is driving you crazy, then ask for the grace to be a good parent.  Here's another example: your spouse is looking for a job out of state, you have no idea where you will live or how you'll support your family in a couple months, then pray to trust in God's plan and courage to step out in faith.


And, the next time you find yourself in a jam, pray for a double portion of the Holy Spirit.  It's another gem from Fr. Simon, O.P. and it really works.

Bugs in the dark

Have you ever picked up a rock in a garden or in the woods and watched the creepy-crawlies scatter?  Today's Gospel reading from John 3:16-21 lifts up the rocks in my heart, but can I handle the intensity of the light?

Today's reading opens with the verse often seen on signs at sporting events: "For God so loved the world that he gave is only-begotten son so that everyone who believes might not perish but might have eternal life."  This is a quick break down of the first part of the reading: God loves us, God gave us Jesus, God wants us to have eternal life, Jesus did not come to condemn us, some will choose to not believe in Jesus and they condemn themselves. It's the basics of what it means to be a Christian.

Continue reading to verse 20, "For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not want to come towards the light, so that his works might not be exposed."  What wicked things reside in your heart?  Does anyone know about it?  Could you possibly bring it to the Sacrament of Confession?  Whenever I keep something (purposefully) out of my confession or confess in a round about way then I am not allowing the Light to drive out the wickedness in my heart.  

Do you prefer the light or the dark?  

Do you have pizzazz?

"Amen, amen, I say to you, unless one is born from above, he cannot see the Kingdom of God." John 3:3

This verse from the Gospel of John is often used against Catholics because we don't use the terminology "born again" when we talk about a relationship with God.  

Here's the 411 on the above verse...at some point I need to have the great big "A-ha!" moment where I "get" what Jesus, the Incarnation, the Crucifixion, the Resurrection, the Ascension, the lives of the saints, etc. is all about.  If I simply go to Mass every Sunday but I don't invest myself into the faith, then I've missed the point.  There is an idea from the theologian Jeroslav Pelikan that I love: the living faith of the dead versus the dead faith of the living.  

The living faith of the dead looks like this: I live out the faith of the Catholic Church with pizzazz!  That's right, pizzazz.  That doesn't mean that I have I to stand on the street corner and preach, but it does mean that my faith infects every moment of my life.  People should see Jesus when they look at me.  Or, at the very least, they should wonder 'why is she the way she is?'  Sure, there are going to be times I totally mess it up, but then that is when I seek forgiveness with pizzazz; forgiveness with my whole heart and soul.  This faith is like the famous quote of St. Francis of Assisi, "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words."

Dead faith of the living looks like this: I go to church on Sunday because that is what I'm supposed to do because it's what my parents do.  Once I leave I don't think about church or God or others until the following Sunday when I begrudgingly get out of bed to go to church again.  This is dead faith that simply imitates what was done by others before me.  

Which camp are you in?  Are you in the dead faith camp?  Or do you have pizzazz?  

Promises of the Resurrection

The doctrine of resurrection was never a problem for me until my daughter, Keenan, was stillborn.   Maybe it’s because I was raised Catholic, but life after death in a resurrected body isn’t a mind-bender.  The details of how it will happen is the mind-bender.  Jesus rising from the dead is the perfect ending to his epic life.  Christ conquers death.  Death is no more.  The final evil, death, is defeated.  All who believe in Christ will also rise again.  

Being from a big Irish Catholic family meant I went to a lot of wakes and funerals growing up and I never once questioned bodily resurrection.  After I held my little girl in my arms, her cold, lifeless body, that is when the Resurrection became hard.  It is not that I suddenly didn’t believe in the Resurrection.  It was the first time in my life that I needed the Resurrection to be true.  I hadn’t needed something to be true so badly in my life.  

People might ask, “How can you believe in the the Sacrament of Reconciliation?  How do you know that you’re actually forgiven.”  There are two answers: first, God promises that I am forgiven; second, I know what it feels like to be forgiven.  When it comes to bodily resurrection, all I’ve got is a promise.  I haven’t been resurrected, I haven’t met any resurrected people, and no one can tell me what it feels like.  A promise from God is all I’ve got to go on.  Grief can be very intense some days, and no offense God, but a promise doesn’t always cut it.  Some days I need the Resurrection to be true so badly, it brings me to tears.  

The first Good Friday after Keenan died was one of those days.  It was not a pretty day.  I think it was the first time I really allowed myself to contemplate the promise of the Resurrection.  What if it is just a story?  What if Jesus wasn’t actually resurrected?  What would that mean?  

Turns out, I am a very big proponent of bodily resurrection.  It’s a non-negotiable.  Other things like: what did Jesus look like?  was he really born on December 25th?  What about the “missing years?”  The answers to these questions do not matter when it comes to my faith.  However, if the Resurrection isn’t true, then doesn’t all of Christ’s other promises fall?  Thankfully, though, I have seen enough of God in my life to know that God would not lie about something as big as Jesus rising from the dead.   

I firmly believe that Jesus is the Christ and was resurrected from the dead.  Good, that is covered.  But, what about me?  what about my grandparents?  what about Keenan?  Keenan is the one person for whom I need bodily resurrection to be true.  And, then, as I thought about it, I realized that I needed bodily resurrection to be true for me too.

Why?  Why do I need it to be true?  Because I want to hold Keenan again, even if it is in a new resurrected form that I can’t possibly understand.  I want to see her eyes open and discover if she has blue eyes like her little brother.  I don’t even care what age she is in her resurrected body.  I just want to look on her beautiful face again, not a picture, and the next time I see her face I want it animated with life.  I didn’t get a chance to experience these things with Keenan in this life and I want to experience them in the next life.  

Perhaps this is the wrong reason to want bodily resurrection, but I think God understands.  I should hope God understands.  God has heard all my questions about this and he already knows what I think, so I’m just going to be honest and put it out there.  Perhaps only parents who have buried a baby think this way.  When you bury a child before you get a chance to meet her, you not only bury a tiny casket, but all the hopes and dreams and questions and wonderings about her as well.  That is a lot to bury.  At the end of time when all believers are resurrected I hope that my hopes and dreams and questions and wonderings will be resurrected too.  I hope that my little family will all be reunited in the next life and we’ll spend eternity worshipping at the Throne of the Lord and get to do a little hiking as well.  

Face to Face

A couple times during Lent I posted mini-meditations on meeting Jesus face to face (Hangin' with Jesus and Hangin' with Jesus - Part Deux).  My somewhat irreverent meditations aside, what would it really be like to meet Jesus face to face?


Today's Gospel reading from Matthew 28 gives us a look at what it was like to meet the Risen Lord.  The NAB translation of verse 9 is a little weak, it simply states that Jesus greeted Mary Magdalene and the other Mary.  Other translations suggest actual greetings such as, "Greetings" or "Peace be to you".  Then the women fell at his feet, hugged his lower legs, and worshipped him.  Although the women knew it was Jesus, there must have been something very different about his resurrected nature because Jesus says to them, "Do not be afraid."  


What if, when you walk out of your house tomorrow morning, Jesus is standing there and uses a modern greeting such as "Hi" or "Hey, howyadoin'?"  How would you respond?  Would you fall at his feet or would you fall into his arms?  Or would you want to start a fist fight? 


What would you say?  Or would you be unable to speak?  Or at seeing the Risen Lord face to face would all of your questions and demands and prayers simply fade away?  


What would Jesus say to you?  What message do you need from him right now?  How would you feel when you hear him say the words: do not be afraid?  Why do you need to hear Jesus speak those words?


The Risen Lord has a different message for each of us, but one message is the same: Do not be afraid.  Take time to rest in those words and know the peace that Jesus wants you to have deep inside.


Happy Easter!

The Easter Vigil

Last night my husband and I attended the Easter Vigil.  If you've never been to the Vigil, then mark your calendars now for next year.  Easter Vigil occurs in the evening of Holy Saturday and is usually 2-3 hours long (and sometimes even longer).  For Catholics who get antsy if Father goes fives minutes long, 3 hours at a single Mass might seem like forever but it is worth your time.

Not only do we listen to the story of salvation history, God's plan for saving us from ourselves, we also get to see new Catholics enter into the fold.  I am always awed when adults want to join the Catholic Church.  I love the Church and think everyone should join us, however we don't always get the best press.  I am inspired when someone is willing to look past the surface "stuff" and examine the Church on a deeper level.  Watching an adult be baptized or listening to the Profession of the Candidates causes me to pause and examine my faith.  

If I was not already Catholic, would I choose to be Catholic?

The Candidates profess the following: "I believe and profess all that the holy Catholic Church believes, teaches, and proclaims to be revealed by God."  WOW!  As a cradle Catholic I never have to stand up and say that in front of people.  Could I do it if I had to?

After a not-so-great Lent, the Easter Vigil is a great way to start the Easter Season.

Jesus Christ is risen today!  Alleluia!

I've got nothing...

"Sometimes all we have to offer is our struggles..."  Great words from my friend, Fr. Simon (O.P.).  


Lent started off great for me, but then I went off the rails.  I had great plans for this Lent; it would be prayerful, a time of renewal and by the time Holy Week came around I'd be ready.  Yeah...it's been none of those things.  In fact, it's just been one thing after another.  


Right before Lent started we found out that my husband wouldn't have a job after next school year (2012-3).  Not the news you want to hear, but we were okay; we have time to deal with it.  Then, we found out that he will be let go at the end of this school year due to budget cuts.  That's in eight weeks...yikes!  For various reasons, we have decided to leave Mississippi and move somewhere else.  Lent has turned into a job hunting/house hunting/where the heck are we going misadventure.  


So here I am, Holy Week is under way and I am going house hunting out of town, again.  Like many things in life, Lent has not turned out the way I wanted it to.  I was hoping to have "something" at the end of Lent, but I have nothing.  All I can offer God is all the stress and worry over our situation.  All I can offer Him is my struggle.  


Someday, I hope I can actually give God something in return.