Ash Wednesday 2013

If you've ever gone to Mass on Ash Wednesday, then you have probably caught the incongruity of the readings with our actions at Mass.  Jesus tells us to wash our faces and not look glum in Matthew 6:17-18.  And what do we do as soon as the homily is over?  Smear a cross of ashes on our foreheads!  Why the heck do we do that?

At Mass today my pastor shared a good explanation, but I had a squirrely three year old with me so I can only share the gist of what he said:
The ashes are an outward sign of my sinful ways.  The ashes represent the parts of my soul that have been scourged due to sin and/or neglect.  The ashes represent the areas that need the life-giving waters of Christ.

Whatever I give up or take up this Lent should help me to grow and to tend to the ash-like parts of my soul.  For instance, I'm horrible, and I mean horrible, at fasting.  I'm a great big baby when it comes to fasting - and the Church doesn't ask us to do it very much.  I wind up being miserable just like the gloomy hypocrites that Jesus talk about (yikes!)  For years I have flirted with trying to "improve" my fasting.  Guess what?  Flirting with fasting is not fasting.  So, this year one of the things I'm going to focus on is fasting because I like food way too much; it is a crutch for me.  Prayer should be my crutch.

If you're still trying to figure out what you're going to do for Lent, allow me to suggest Fr. Jonathan Morris' Lent Challenge 2013.  He lays out a great plan that helps to think through the areas of mind, body, and soul.  Because Lent isn't about denying ourselves for the sake of denying, it's about growing closer to our Lord and Savior.

I pray you have a good Lent.  Remember, ashes are excellent fertilizer.  I pray that on Easter morning you find grass growing in your soul where once there were ashes.

Book on Forgiveness

I'm in the midst of reading a GREAT book on forgiveness: Set Free: The Authentic Catholic Woman's Guide to Forgiveness by Genevieve Kineke. I'm planning to write a proper book review when I finish, but I couldn't wait to share some of the wisdom.

Are you waiting for an apology from someone who has hurt you? Here's why Kineke says that is a bad idea:

"...if your forgiveness hinges on the other's contrition, then he or she is exercising a control over you that is entirely unwarranted. If you put forgiveness in the hands of the wrongdoer then you hand your eternal destiny to a finite creature..."(page 26)

Yikes! I had never thought about waiting for an apology in that way, but it makes perfect sense.  Christ commanded forgiveness, but if I'm harboring a resentment and waiting for an apology, then that is doing harm to my soul.

Another pearl of wisdom that got me was about the act of forgiving. "Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling." (page 31). I have been in the position when I have wanted to forgive someone - made the decision to put the hurt behind me - but found that I got upset again if I was reminded of the incident. I thought that meant I hadn't really forgiven the hurt and had to wait until it no longer bothered me. Not so! Her advice is to forgive and if you get upset about the incident in the future, then make another act of forgiveness. It makes so much sense since forgiving can be a long and hard process.

Is it necessary to say 'I forgive you' to the person who has wronged you? Depending on the hurt and who did it, it may not be necessary. In some cases, confronting the person can bring back painful memories or perhaps the person has died. So long as I can pray for that person and the idea of meeting them in heaven doesn't fill me with dread or anger, then the forgiveness is real.

These are just a few of the nuggets I've gotten from this book and I'm barely a quarter of the way through. I highly recommend this book for anyone.