"Sometimes all we have to offer is our struggles..." Great words from my friend, Fr. Simon (O.P.).
Lent started off great for me, but then I went off the rails. I had great plans for this Lent; it would be prayerful, a time of renewal and by the time Holy Week came around I'd be ready. Yeah...it's been none of those things. In fact, it's just been one thing after another.
Right before Lent started we found out that my husband wouldn't have a job after next school year (2012-3). Not the news you want to hear, but we were okay; we have time to deal with it. Then, we found out that he will be let go at the end of this school year due to budget cuts. That's in eight weeks...yikes! For various reasons, we have decided to leave Mississippi and move somewhere else. Lent has turned into a job hunting/house hunting/where the heck are we going misadventure.
So here I am, Holy Week is under way and I am going house hunting out of town, again. Like many things in life, Lent has not turned out the way I wanted it to. I was hoping to have "something" at the end of Lent, but I have nothing. All I can offer God is all the stress and worry over our situation. All I can offer Him is my struggle.
Someday, I hope I can actually give God something in return.
"What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits towards me? I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the Lord." (Psalm 116:12-13) You *are* giving God something in return, the only thing he asks. The very emptiness you have to offer is in fact no different from the rest of us, even if it is less hidden in your case. Be assured that you have received something this Lent, and even if it is still unseen or unknown, know that your intentions and your trials and your present "nothing" are themselves a highway to the glory of the risen Christ.
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